Draco Malfoy vs Muggles
by forgiving
Summary: Draco has to take a trip on a muggle train. Crackfic!


Draco Malfoy vs Muggles

Draco Malfoy hated muggles. So why did he have to be here, using this stupid contraption, he didn't know. Well, he did. Weasley had fire called that morning, which just happened to be Draco's day off, to say that his mudblood had gone into labour. So he was called in, on his precious day of off, to cover.

Of course, it got worse. Weasley's partner was, of course, Potter. And they were working a case already, so Potter had to spend an hour filling him in, which frustrated both of them to no end. Then a tip off had come in, claiming that the wizard they were tracking was about to strike again. He liked to take muggle children and use them to test his experimental spells on and always took them from crowded places. And while this was terrible, the true problem was that he kept getting caught on security camera's using magic to capture the children and the muggles watching the video feeds kept having to be Obliviated.

Deangelo, their target, was apparently planning to kidnap another child, this time from Southampton Central. And of course Peter's, the head of department, said they should blend in, as they didn't know if it was a trap, and take the 'train' to the station. So here he was, at some random station called Basingstoke, waiting on platform whatever for a train.

He already hated this mission. First, the lady at the counter wouldn't take his money because it wasn't real and Draco had been gearing up to argue when Potter had explained that muggles had a different monetary system to them, even as he had paid for their tickets behind his back. Then the stupid peasants at the strange barrier hadn't heard of him so wouldn't let him go first and he had to que like a peasant. Then, he didn't know how to use said barrier and Potter had to rescue him again!

Finally on the platform, he was waiting with Potter, who now had a strong grip on Draco's elbow, for their train. A box like thing pulled up in front of them, and Potter went to pull him onto it. "Potter!" Draco hissed.

"What?" Potter hissed back.

"This isn't a train," Draco muttered.

"This is a muggle version, Malfoy," Potter answered. "It's shaped like this so it can go faster."

"But this isn't what the books in Muggle studies said," Malfoy moaned, even as he stepped over the gap.

"That's because those text books haven't been updated in over 25 years," Potter told him. But Draco was no longer listening because there were no seat left. He glared at a boy, just old enough to be Hogwarts age, willing him to get up and give his seat to someone who deserved it. The child glared back! Draco was about to demand the boy give him his seat when Potter suddenly grabbed his hand, pulling it away from the door that nearly shut on his finger. He gave Potter a grudging nod of thanks, then turned back to the boy. He put his middle finger up, which just confused Draco.

"Stop it," Potter told him, elbowing him. Draco gapped at him, deciding to see if telling Peter's when he got back would get Potter fired. Thankfully for Draco and his by now aching legs, the brat and his family got off at the next station. Draco quickly pulled Potter over to the now free seats and sat down. Potter suddenly stood up from next to him and Draco saw he was letting a rather pregnant looking women sit down. Why, he didn't know, as she shouldn't have even been allowed out of the house in her condition, he thought.

Three stops later, Potter pocked him and they got off. Draco stared. "This place is massive, how do you expect we find him," he asked.

"We split up," Potter shrugged.

"Fine, I need to use a restroom anyway," he muttered, but Potter had already gone. He spotted a sign saying toilets and wondered over. He glanced at the door, looking confusedly at the symbol on the door. He went into the first stall, locked the door and did his business. He turned round and reached for the lock. Which wouldn't budge. He shock it and pulled it, trying to get it to open. He tugged and tugged for ages before giving up. He refused to call out and ask for help, he was a Malfoy, Malfoy's never asked for help.

Finally, after an hour, the door opened again, "Malfoy, are you in here?"

"Potter?!" Of all the people to witness his humiliation. He sighed, at least he would get out of here. "The locks stuck!"

"Well, you can use an unlocking charm now, I caught Deangelo," Potter told him. Draco had his wand in hand and was casting before Potter had even finished speaking. He stepped out of the stall and proudly walked to the sinks to wash his hands, listening to Potter prattle on about how he caught Deangelo and how Conner's had taken him back to the Ministry. "Malfoy?" Potter asked as they were leaving.

"Yes, Potter," Draco sighed, waiting for the teasing he was sure to injure.

"Why did you go into a female bathroom?"


End file.
